Excellent to listen to when it rains

I never got into Modern Japanese Music, or hardcore, but this album is both and it is truly excellent, especially when it is dark and raining outside and there are loud rain noises. A bit of scariness and classic prettyness all at once:

This is probably why I don't have a girlfriend

Sympathy for the Cannibal

I think the reason I love baby crows, or baby birds in general stems in part from the fact that their mothers push them out of the nests if they are sick, and because I know from experience that they can still be successfully raised even if they've been completely given up on.

Once a year in the middle of the summer

There is a steaming pile of horseshit.


I call it "horseshit".


Which is sometimes abbreviated as "hot".


But don't be fooled.
Call it by it's real name:

"It's fucking horseshit out here"

"The Los Angeles sun is relentless and horseshit".


See?

Nobody fools us smart kids.


"All the work done preparing for the party made us all horseshit"
or
"This party is gonna be soooooooooo horseshit"

Do your duty.

I would like some milk from the milkman's wife's tits

Places I Used To Go

For fear of trespassing...

I hate people who are really anal about trespassing.

Trespassing is the only thing that makes us feel like adventuring kids again.

There's really nothing I like more than stumbling across an abandoned building and exploring it.

Hey, I understand if you don't want me here, mister, but why bring law enforcement into this?

It was an accident, I swear!

Lepidopterophobia

http:// ihatebutterflies.com

My true love, Diana.

I am part of an elite organization

Who are we?
We are everyone. We are no one.
Where are we?
We are everywhere. We are nowhere.
What do we do?
We put googly-eyes on dead pufferfish.

He admitted to biting your kid

He admitted to having bitten siblings, but had never bitten one of his friends before.

We're glad that you called.

Mackenzie's Time Traveler Mystery Team

Do my bidding!

Silent Ending / Secret Cynic

I went and saw The Happening today. It was a good movie.

Like his other movies it was advertised as a brainless thriller but was actually a very thinly-veiled manifesto.

Can you say mixing mediums?

As much as I usually love what it is he's trying to say with a film, and as much as I love the style and mood and weird pseudo-realism of his films, he sometimes comes across as very Bono about the message, at least to me, somewhat. As in, like he expects you to be stupid when you come in to see his movie, and that's why he actually wants to trick you into coming into the theatre so he can sit you down and cram a message down your throat, and if you're too stupid to understand it it's your own damn fault.

But I'm not sure that it's a bad thing, even if I say it like it is.

The acting was actually a little bad. Not badly done, just... bad. Mark Whale-Iceberg's character was whiny and I felt 0% emotional attachment to anyone in the film, except for a few seconds in the middle of the movie where I felt really sad, and then I stopped caring.

It had the potential to be a really unbelievably cool movie, but it was just okay. Maybe I'll change my mind about it. It was a good movie. Not great, or even very good. Just... good. See it or whatever.

The Ones You Love Are Always Watching You

Turning your children's insecurities into gold!

A Message from Concerned Children's Advertisers

Monumental Piles of Yin and Yang

Yin: There's been a lot of death going around recently. My friend and coworker came into work one day crying. One of her best friends had just died, but between her crying she tried to laugh it off anyway and move on with her day. My boss's friend died only a few days later. I have another friend who's father has just died only a couple months ago. Even famous people I respect and have never known are dying. Tim Russert and George Carlin, just to name a few in the past couple weeks. Maybe it is that ten-year mark where all the plants must burn so that new plants may grow. Who knows. Maybe death just tends to have short bursts where it is not necessarily more imminent, just more noticeable to any one group of people. People are always dying, but we only notice some of the time.

Half of the time I'm awake and alive I feel on the edge of mortality... like the clock is ticking and I'm not doing anything to make sure that I'm putting the life I was given to any use, and it's going to be too late when I actually get the guts to do anything. During the winter months when all the day-to-day business and the outdoor activities and the animals breeding and everybody's metabolism comes to a total crawl it is easy to be okay with your life moving so so slow because that's how the world is, and dying miserable and lonely and unproductive isn't something most people do, so when most people are like you for a while it is easy to be optimistic about your impending doom.

So when Summer comes around it's really really evident how much time you are wasting, because everybody else is going out and doing things every day and the sun is shining that beautiful golden LA-sun color, even if it's doing so at 106 degrees Fahrenheit. And if you have job troubles you can't look for a new one because it's that time of year where the demand for jobs spikes tremendously and most other people are more qualified than you.

Yang: So I'm not wasting as much time anymore. I'm eating better and I'm walking more and I'm saving money but I'm also blowing it on adventures, because out of all the things I might like to buy, it's the adventures that are going to matter when I am old, and it's the adventures that keep me sane and actually make me happy. I don't smell like cheese because I take better care of myself.
I don't really believe in being reborn by your own hands. When you're a self-doubting self-conscious self-loathing dude it's easy to think that changing all the things you want to change about yourself is going to make you a better person, but it won't. I'm still the same guy I was, I just am trying to pursue happiness instead of not caring or just dicking around all the time. Sometimes you can sell your soul for friends, and that works just fine and dandy but when they leave you, it's okay to wake up and realize that it wasn't meant to be anyway, and move on. Loneliness isn't really something to be ashamed of, but it's something you shouldn't have to live with anyway.
This summer smells promising. I'm going up to San Francisco with one of my wonderful friends and seeing my favorite band play with some of my other favorite bands, and I'm going to a bunch of amazing shows, and I'm doing things that I've been putting off for a long time. I trim my beard and comb my hair (up, so it doesn't count, does it?).
I think for once in my life, I'm wearing clothes that fit, and I mean that in more ways than one.

Piano and saw percussion team?

The CD is called "Samme Stof Som Stof" and it's one of the coolest CDs to have come out last year. One critic described it as "wearing a fine spike heel on one foot and a combat boot on the other". I think that it fits, despite it's ambiguity. Next time Under Byen comes around to your town you should check them out. They opened for the Album Leaf last year, who I had gone to see, and Under Byen stole the whole show (maybe because an hour and a half of the Album Leaf is... boring?).

It's basically really heavy and dark rock, if you got rid of almost all the guitar and replaced it with multiple drummers, cello, violin, musical saw and piano. I hope that makes sense, because the end result doesn't sound a whole lot like heavy and dark rock at all, except for a couple songs.

It's a unique listen. For fans of mum, Bjork, Mogwai, Godspeed You! Black Emperor and Tim Burton movies.

Benazir Bhutto and the man who murdered Bin Laden

And we somehow managed to take for granted that she was murdered not that long after this interview?

I mean, did anyone remember hearing about Bin Laden being dead on the news?



I think that my blog is a terrible forum for conspiracy theories and there is enough yelling about politics on the internet without my help, but this was worth sharing.

MK ULTRAmarine #00036

The walls are a mind-control shade of blue.






Arp Cola: Fortitude Saving Throw vs. Vistaril (fail)

International Boar Semen

Is a company specializing in the wonderful world of artificially inseminating sows with "fresh and frozen genetics". Actually, I guess it would be wrong to say that their job is the insemination process itself. Their specific trade is in the engineering, perfection, development, manufacturing and distribution of the genetic in its fresh - or frozen - form. Although I'm sure that all of the fine gentlemen over at International Boar Semen (Division Of Universal Pig Genes, Inc.) are more than well-qualified to do this fine and necessary task themselves, their logo indicates that - while I'm certain that they cater only to the upper crust of this particular demographic - they expect that the person receiving their treasured goods is receiving them as part of a first step to doing the task itself. If you do not completely understand just yet exactly what I am talking about, allow me to illustrate my point further with a most appropriate use of the somewhat less subtle logo of a competing company:
Now, I understand that in today's heyday of stylized and sometimes abstract or irrelevant commercial graphic design, it can often be difficult to interpret exactly what it is a business - classy or not- and their logo are trying to illustrate or convey precisely. Fortunately for us living in the sophisticated United States, our Canadian allies have taken it upon themselves to convey this particular idea in a way that is more simple and easy for the eyes and brain to comprehend:

Now, this, for all of you who are green to the idea of the economic, clean and efficient practice of the artificial insemination of sows, is the view that is granted to every hard-working American who has been brave enough to perform this task as he does his job. This is the job he does, so that we can eat our bacon cheeseburgers and Christmas hams, and so that even an animal as humble as a pig can experience the unprecedented joy of motherhood.

Yes, Virgin Mary - but it doesn't take a Christian to appreciate the hard work and riveting scientific innovation.

Well, you're probably thinking: Gee, Smanx, you're talking a whole lot about this Boar Semen stuff. What's so great about it anyhow? Don't you think that this is a bit gross? Lowbrow? We got over this kind of stuff in third grade.

Well, kid, first of all this is very serious. And it's not lowbrow - not at all! Boar Semen is, suffice to say, the cornerstone on the pinnacle of the pyramid of science!

"Yes," you might interject: "But what about animal rights?"

Oh, ho! This is truly what's best for the animal! It is a process performed only by trusted, certified individuals wearing nice clothes (as illustrated here)
Well, I don't know about you, but I sure learned a lot. If you want to learn more, just go to http://www.piggene.com/IBS/ibs_home.htm and pay a visit to International Boar Semen - the AI Innovators since 1976!

And remember:
This stud's for you.

P.S. I want somebody to buy me this mug. Like, seriously:

http://www.cafepress.com/ibs.1390942

P.P.S. I also really really would like to share that in my efforts to find the above company's logo by googling "International Boar Semen logo", I came up with this:Oh, I wish I was joking with you. I'm not.

Goodnight.

Tim Russert > Pundits - R.I.P.

R.I.P. Tim Russert

I didn't think I'd ever miss a political journalist, but I am very sad to hear of his passing and, while I'm sure this isn't how he wants me to remember him, he made all of his peers look like idiots in comparison. I really liked hearing what he had to say and he was more than half the reason I always watched the NBC election and political coverage. The other almost-half of the reason was because everyone other than him and John Stewart seemed to miss the point entirely. I hope that in his wake there is somebody as intelligent and devoted to his field as he was. It's one of those times that the media is going to play a big part in shaping the country and I feel like we've lost somebody fighting the good fight today.

Just when I thought I was done talking about ghosts...

I'm one of the new fans

Hey there. Why don't you come and join me in the afterlife?

I was watching a show on the travel channel called "World's Creepiest Destinations" and there was a bit in there about various places in Hollywood that were rumored to be haunted by the celebrities that died there or where buried/cremated and stored there. In the hotel room where Marilyn Monroe overdosed and died, people claim to sometimes see her in the mirror. A weird man on the show was talking about the significance of this and the significance of that and he said something about why these places were so great and why people kept flocking to them. About how "people who were never able to see her in her real life, now have the option of trying to catch a glimpse of her in her afterlife".

Yeah, I'll bet those people are class acts.

I don't know. I'm amused by the thought of some sort of weird celebrity paranormal peep-show, and creeped out a bit too. I can't help but think about that if somebody who lived off of the attention of an entire country, should they die and live on as a vague pan-dimensional thumb print of their former existence, they might have nothing better to do with their afterlife than be seen.

Not knocking on Norma Jean, mind you.